I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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