Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
