Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
