Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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