All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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