I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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