I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
