Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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