i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
