They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
