Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize