You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
