It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
