She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
