he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
