i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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