It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
