Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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