HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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