i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize