I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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