And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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