Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
