i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
