Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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