Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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