i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
