His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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