You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
