11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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