It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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