i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
