Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
