why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
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I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
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It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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