found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
