so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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