Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
