She is in my trunk
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
