anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
