But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
