im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
