We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
