he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
