Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss