party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."