just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
