His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
