Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
