Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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