lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
