You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
