Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
