wanna go halves on a baby?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
