2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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