Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
