Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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