I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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