I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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