how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
